The line has been cast. All I need now is to make sure the hook is diligent enough to pull in an audience.
The hook that was chosen will be about a girl who lost her parents a year ago. The initial scene will open up with a shot facing a river. The girl, named Lorn, will be silhouetted. The shot will change into a close-up. Lorn will be sitting in sand with her knees pulled to her chest. The shot will be an upward shot focusing on feet, then using a rack focus to focus on her face. There may be some motion moving from feet to face. The voice overs will start.
“My name is Lorn, and I’m an orphan. My best friend, Eltra, and her mom, Sheydyn, took me in a year ago. I feel like a charity case, but life’s pretty good.”
The shot will go to Lorn walking up the steps to the parking lot. Again, this shot will be a low angle that will focus on Lorn walking away. The shot will switch to show Lorn walking up the steps from above. The scene will change to a grassy plain. The shot will focus on a baby bunny nibbling on grass. The bunny will hop out of frame, and the focus will change to Lorn’s feet walking by. She will walk into a cemetery, and go to a grave site. The shot will feature her hand running across one of the grave stones. She will kneel in front of the graves, pluck some flowers from the ground (or there will be a shot previous to this where she picks flowers for the grave), and place the flowers on only one of the two grave plots. The scene will fade out.
Footage of a house will fill the screen. The scene will be dark and the house will have an opacity of about 75-80%.
“A year ago today, my parents died in a fire.”
A match will strike over the house. The flame will start at the bottom of the screen. I will use After Effects to engulf the house with the flame as the scene goes on. I will also use After Effects to damage the house.
“That’s the official story. The authorities and I know what really happened. My mom begrudged my dad. He took away her chance to be a part of the Royal Family on the day they got married. When the firewomen pulled out my parents’ bodies, my dad had a bullet lodged into each knee cap. His hands were behind his back as if they’d been tied together. My mother had a gunshot wound to her head. The coroner found smoke damage in my dad’s lungs, but not in my mom’s. She shot my dad so he couldn’t leave the burning house. He suffocated to death while my mom took the easy way out. And I was left behind… with nothing”
The flame will be blown out before Lorn says “with nothing.” Smoke will come up from the match/candle and the screen will fade to black.
The scene will fade into Lorn placing her hands on the ground and standing up. It will be an even shot of her hands and calves as she stands up. As Lorn’s feet are turning the shot will change to Lorn’s face and shoulders as she’s walking toward the camera.
“Things haven’t been so bad since they left. I get to live with my best friend. She’s more than just my best friend though. I’ve been in love with her since we were kids. Sheydyn, her mom, knows how I feel, but Eltra is oblivious. She’s too concerned with the stud farms to notice my feelings…”
These final shots will be of Lorn walking along a railroad track. The shots will change from a wide view of her walking in the middle of the track, to a close up of her balancing on the rail, then to shots of the wooden planks of the train tracks as her shadow passes over. The last words “notice my feelings” will be said as a train rushes by. The scene will fade to black as the train whistle blows. Credits roll.
The end. Have you been caught?